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Planning a wedding is an exciting journey, but it can also be one of the most stressful experiences in your life. From choosing the perfect vendors to managing guest lists and staying within budget, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, there are effective ways to manage stress, stay grounded and even cultivate the fun inherent in the planning process. Here are 10 Quick Tips to help you enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime journey and maintain your peace of mind.
1. Start Early and Stay Organized
One of the biggest stressors in wedding planning is feeling rushed. Start planning as early as possible to give yourself plenty of time to make decisions. Use tools like spreadsheets, apps, or planners to keep track of your budget, guest lists, vendor notes, brainstorming ideas and timelines.
A well-organized plan can be your best ally! Break down the planning process into individual tasks, then set those into a clear timeline that can help you stay on top of things without feeling overwhelmed. Break the planning process into manageable chunks, tackling one priority at a time.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s natural to want Your Wedding Day to be perfect, but perfection is subjective and often unattainable. Remember, no event is without hiccups! Focus on what truly matters -the love and commitment you share with your partner- and celebrating the miracle of that love with your friends and loved ones. Accepting that some things may not go as planned can alleviate unnecessary pressure.
3. The Uncertainty of LGBTQ+ Marriage Rights
With today's political climate, it makes sense you may be stressed about the uncertain future concerning LGBTQ+ marriage rights. The best way to ease your mind is to inform yourselves! -Resist taking in too much of the negative headlines, but find news sources that are trustworthy and check in with those sources routinely. If possible, reach out to LGBTQ+ community center/s and equality organizations: local groups are the most knowlegdeable about your particular area and what legislation might be in the works. Whether you've married or not, consider sitting down with a lawyer who is experienced with LGBTQ+ issues, to make sure your powers of attorney and other vital documents are in order, and as full-proof as possible. If you have concerns over immigration issues, adoption, or other important matters, again, be sure to seek trustworthy legal advice. ...And don't limit your communication with a lawyer to just once: at this crossroads in our country's history, remaining informed is our own responsibility! Build routines of gathering information so that you can realistically protect your own rights, and those of your loved ones.
4. Delegating Wedding Tasks
Whether you're eloping, planning a small gathering, or going all-out with an extravagant grand affair, keep in mind that you do not have to do everything yourself. You don't even have to remember all the details yourself! ...Delegate tasks to your partner, family members, attendants and friends. Hiring a wedding planner can also help take the weight off your shoulders, as they’re experienced in managing all the details and in making suggestions that may not have occured to you.
There are organizations such as Free Mom Hugs or PFLAG that often have volunteers willing to help LGBTQ+ couples with wedding plans. From walking you down the aisle, to offering emotional support, and sometimes to providing officiate and other services, check in with groups like this in your area: you may be surprised at the help that awaits you!
5. Schedule Breaks & Commit to Self-Care Routines
Planning a wedding can feel all-consuming, so it’s important to take regular breaks. Prioritize time for other activities you enjoy and social connections too, whether it’s a bimonthly hike, helping out at the animal shelter, game night with friends, heading to the local bar with your bestie, a little retail therapy, or a spa getaway with your fiancee. And remember, routine date nights are a must! These moments of relaxation can recharge your energy and your perspective.
In the hustle of planning your Special Day, and preparing for that new chapter of committed life together, don’t forget to take care of yourself! Try to maintain those important self-care regimens: daily exercise, meditation, time alone with your pets or favorite tv shows, regular visits to the hair stylist or chiropractor. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and staying hydrated can also help you manage stress more effectively. Continuing to cement healthy habits now sets you up for continuing them after the wedding... which ultimately will nourish your own sense of self-worth and happiness!
6. Set a Budget and Stick to It & Keep Communicating
Financial concerns are a common source of stress during wedding planning. Create a realistic budget and stick to it! Discuss financial boundaries with your partner early on, and prioritize expenses based on what’s most important to you.
Miscommunication can lead to unnecessary stress. Be open with your partner about expectations, budgets, and priorities. Regularly check in with each other to ensure you’re on the same page. The same goes for communicating with vendors, attendants and family members.
7. Find a Wedding Tribe
This can be hard to read, but not everyone in your family or circle of friends wants to talk about your wedding 24/7. Honor that! Find the friends who are all into it, or if you don't have any, then consider building some connections online with another LGBTQ+ couple or two who are also in the planning stages. Having wedding buddies, who don't mind the constant nuptial updates, chatter and play-by-play commentary, may just prove invaluable to maintaining your own peace of mind, and the peace of mind of others in your world!
8. Get Crafty with Wedding Keepsakes
Indulge in some time online to search for DIY wedding favors, keepsakes and decor... Then plan a few afternoons or evenings with your partner, friend/s or attendants for crafting, sipping a cocktail, chatting, laughing together. Those intimate moments with the ones you love all add up to make the planning process an unforgettable chapter in your life!
9. Stay Mindful of Social Media Comparisons
Social media can be a double-edged sword. While it’s great for inspiration, convenience and making incredible contacts, it can also create unrealistic expectations. Remember that every wedding is unique, and what matters most is commemorating your love story in a way that’s authentic to you. Enjoy online connections, tips and inspo, but if/when it feels like too much, remember it's okay to step back and stay true to what's most important: Your own ideas, your own priorities, your own vision for that one-of-a-kind celebration of you & your beloved!
10. Focus on the Big Picture
When things get stressful, take a step back and remind yourself why you’re doing this. The wedding is just one day, but it marks the beginning of a lifetime with your partner. -A lifelong adventure of exploration, co-creation, growth, mutual support & triumphs and much more. Absolutely Your Special Day will be timeless and unforgettable, but the many reasons behind that day are truly the heart of the matter.
