Tips

Your Wedding Day is finally here!!

A few quick tips to keep in mind as you prep for Your Special Day:

*Pack a small bag, backpack or even a small suitcase with a lock - it is so convenient to have one place to keep things like your wallet, phone, speeches, notes, vendor phone numbers, travel itinerary, etc.  Don't forget the phone charger or extra camera batteries!

*Remember to pack an assortment of 'just-in-case' items, such as safety pins, hair accessories if necessary, comb/brush, mirror, make-up, bottled water, small snack items, breath mints.  It's also good to consider bringing a minimal amount of first aid items - you never know when a small bandaid might be needed!

Other things to consider bringing along:
extra earrings, in case one gets lost or misplaced
an extra tie
extra set of nylons or hose, in case of tears
checkbook, if applicable
additional personal care items, as may be needed
sewing kit
extra guitar strings or other applicable items
scissors

*Remember to bring along any of those special Gift Bags or Cards that you've bought in advance for your officiant, special guests or attendants, or for your Sweetie!

*Do you plan to incorporate a special Bible or other keepsake item into the ceremony?  Is it ready to go?

*Rings?  Apparel for the ceremony and for the reception?  Comfortable shoes for later?

*Snack items can be wonderful during the upcoming hectic schedule, to help settle a nervous tummy or thwart a stress headache.  And if you pick just the right granola bar or favorite munchie, you can rest assured it will be on hand just when you need it...  Be sure to pick out an assortment, and keep in mind that you'll want something with a low-mess factor.  -Bring extras if possible, for attendants or your Sweetie!

HAVE A WONDERFUL ...and ease-y... CELEBRATION!!
 

I had my first shoot with a Triad a few weeks ago!! They reached out to me and when I tell you I screamed a little bit out of excitement! (Rami can confirm) I was so excited for the session, so I tried to find some tips for posing 3 people in a relationship. I found very little poses or even  information on proper language! I was SHOCKED! I am not polyamorous myself (even though I am queer),but I wanted to make sure to be as respectful as possible, and make them feel as comfortable during the session. So I went to work! I found a few Pinterest posts hidden under all the hetero poses! And wrote down some ideas I had. But It was still very nerve wracking to find little to no information online. This lack of information directly excludes polyamorous people from the world of  professional photography.The last thing I want as a photographer is to make anyone feel ashamed of who they are and who they love. So I'm here to change that! I worked together with a polycule near me, they're absolutely amazing btw! We scheduled a picnic session a few weeks out. And when the day finally came, I was so excited, but also super nervous to shoot this throuple. If you would like, you can give them a follow at:  

Just a disclaimer:  they explicitly gave me permission to use our shoot as examples for how to post a triad, and are excited to help educate others.

Tip #1: Stack people in the Frame.
Like in the picture to the right, have someone on top of the frame, someone in the middle and someone at the bottom. This staggering not only makes the picture look more interesting, but it also allows everyone in the throuple to fit in the frame more naturally. If I just lined them up, that would exclude the people on the sides, but more importantly it would be SOOO BORING. Look at just how much more interesting this picture is vs. that picture on your insta feed of 3 people standing outside a chilis smiling. Another element of this pose was how they lovingly looked at each other. I told them to look at each other how they normally would, but I made sure not to tell them who to look at. That way they just picked the person who was most comfortable and natural to look at. I also said to look at each other in a very loving way and boy did they! This picture still gives me chills and is definitely on my top 10 for favorite pictures ever taken!!

Tip #2: Have fun activities prepared that include all three of them.
So for this shoot I decided to have a picnic! Nothing fancy, I literally got this quilt and basket from goodwill. But they had grapes and strawberries that they could share and feed each other. Which was great not only to get more natural movements, but also the activities helped them get more comfortable being in front of the camera. They also brought a bottle of champagne, which is LOVE! It’s a great way to help get everyone more comfortable in front of the camera (when drinking responsibly), plus we got to hang out afterwards to finish off the champagne! And my goal with all clients is to become their friend, and I am happy to say I had 3 new friends after this shoot.

Tip #3: Make sure everyone is Comfortable!
This is especially important when you are not a part of the community. SO in my case, I am queer, but I am not polyamorous. I made sure to ask and use the terms they are comfortable with. I also made sure they took the lead with some of the posing and ALWAYS asked if they were comfortable with a pose or not. I find it extremely important to make the clients comfortable enough to tell me no when I am posing them! First of all consent (obviously) but also if they aren't comfortable no one is having fun and the pictures are not cute. For example, I had the idea of Kasey and Aaron kissing while Rachael kissed Aaron’s cheek. They were comfortable with that pose, but it would be better if all of them kissed. And it was! That picture is one of my favorites, and I am so happy that I asked about their comfortability and what they preferred, because in the end I got an amazing result. I found that letting them take the lead in some scenarios and capturing what they naturally do together can be the best thing!

Tip #4: Capture pictures with the individual couples as well all together.
Throuple’s relationships are sometimes not just about the relationship between the three of them, but also about their individual relationship as well. And I wanted to capture that! This is not the case with every polycule, but with Rachael, Aaron and Kasey it was! So I made a point to do a few poses to show that off. I made sure to do that pretty equally so that not one individual relationship got more attention than another. But I did focus a lot of the pictures between the three of them, since that was what the initial shoot is about. And I never wanted them to feel like I was trying to capture anything but their love for.

Tip #5: Use correct language and ask them what they prefer.
Communication is the most important aspect of any session, but when working with marginalized communities it is extremely important. That is why I always ask for pronouns and I never use a term without asking unless they have used that term. And the times that I do make mistakes or forget to ask, I always give the clients space to feel heard, and correct ALL my mistakes. No one is having fun if they feel unseen and heard. That is why proper language is so important. I also do the work, and research to make sure I am not using outdated or offensive terms. This is most important when I am not a part of the community.

Finding Inclusive Photographers
I am in the process of writing a whole blog post about this, but in the meantime here’s a few tips

• Make sure they include a place to put your pronouns when filling out a contact form.
• Make sure they have a large diversity in couples/polycules that they photography.
• They don’t have a separate section for “same-sex” couples. In fact I would trust anyone who says “same-sex” couples.
• When they do post queer couples they say more than Love is Love. Who else is over rainbow marketing? I know I am!
• The best is to find a photographer in the LGBTQIA+ community.

If you would like to reach out to me to be your photographer, I would absolutely LOVE that! I travel all over the world and I focus on making a very inclusive and comfortable environment of all my clients. You can check out my website at https://www.ranramiphotography.com/ for more information about me!

Stylish Transportation for Your Special Day!


It’s possible to bring your own flair to every aspect of your wedding celebration:  accenting your florals with organically-grown springtime blossoms…  customizing your vows… asking special family members or friends to offer select readings from favorite literary passages during the ceremony… choosing a personally meaningful gemstone for your partner’s ring instead of the traditional diamond… developing the festivities around a particular theme that reflects the relationship you and your beloved share.  Chances are you and your fiancée will be devoting time to sample delectable flavors for your wedding cake; why not also indulge yourselves by considering all the available options about transportation?  It’s Your Special Day – travel with your new spouse in style!

Traditional
Today’s limos are incredible!  Customized lighting, ambience and of course music and champagne.  As you consider your budget, you’ll need to decide whether or not you’ll want your limousine available for your entire wedding party as they make their way from the ceremony site to the reception venue… or if you’ll simply want to reserve the luxurious ride for you and your spouse as you leave the festivities and begin your honeymoon.

As you depart, your driver might play the DVD of the ceremony on the interior television screen as the two of you are whisked off to the mountain chalet for your long weekend, or serve signature martinis as you toast your new spouse on the advent of your new life together.

Costs will vary based on season, day-of-the-week and the timeframe necessary.  Be sure to ask your provider if they charge by the hour or per event, and educate yourselves about the additional costs such as mileage and tips.  Gathering all the facts will help you select your ideal transportation while still maintaining your budget!  -It’s also helpful to note that many couples ask parents (if they are chipping in with ceremony costs) to cover this particular expense.


Keeping with Your Theme
When arriving at the private beach to meet their wedding party, Maui grooms Bob H. & Ken T. were paddled ashore in an outrigger canoe.   Along with the djembe drumming, circle of tropical flower petals on the sand and inclusion of the tradition of tossing leis into the ocean in honor of their ancestors, the canoe was just one more facet of the couple’s dream-come-true:  a beautiful Hawaiian oceanfront wedding.

Other themes lend themselves to particular transportation options:  For your vintage wedding, of course you might consider a convertible Mercedes or classic Rolls Royce.  An Elvis-themed wedding might require that Mustang or 50’s Thunderbird, or perhaps a jet-black Harley.

For your Pride or rainbow-themed event, a trolley decorated to mimic an original from San Francisco might suit; for a casino-oriented reception, you’ll want to go with a high-rolling stretch limo – make sure the fuzzy dice are bouncing in the window!


Party Bus
The name says it all, and lends itself to much more than swinging through town for your bachelors/ettes party.  Party buses are a festive way to gather all of your wedding attendants, family, close friends and enjoy quality time together.  Lights and music can be rockin’, elegant or simply joyful.  The trip itself might be a 30-minute drive to the reception facility, or it may be a tour through your hometown as an unexpected gift for your guests.  –Your driver, DJ or emcee will happily customize the tour, regaling passengers with highlights from your engagement story or moments you & your partner have spent in the city or local neighborhoods.  Couples with more intimate ceremonies may even prefer the party on the bus to a more traditional reception:  the space and services onboard may astound you!  It’s worth checking into if you are looking for something unique and memorable, while retaining that lively atmosphere.


Horse-drawn Carriages
Fairy-tales do come true!  Of course a horse-drawn carriage may suit you and your partner perfectly, providing you the most enchanting way to travel from your ceremony site to your reception venue, or to depart from the reception after the festivities come to a close.  Carriages offer one of the most delightful photo opp/s – appealing for two brides or two grooms alike.

If possible, take time prior to your wedding day to take a quick jaunt in your carriage, and consider wearing similar attire to that you plan to wear on Your Special Day.  Remember, climbing up onto a high footplate can be challenging in a long gown, heels or in a finely tailored tux, even with the help of your partner, driver or attendant.  It’s good to practice beforehand!

Also, be sure to communicate to your photographer that a horse-drawn carriage will be part of the festivities, and allow for his/her/their input about when might be appropriate times for extra photographs.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment; make the most of it!

As a precaution, however, be sure to also discuss with your carriage service the available options in case of inclement weather.  This may be as simple as reserving a venue with a portico (many carriages are not strictly open-air and can provide shelter if necessary) but you’ll want to go over such details in advance.

Also, don’t be shy to inquire about the short-term and long-term care your carriage company provides to their horses.  Many couples today wish to remain savvy not only about doing business with gay-friendly companies, but also with businesses that are environmentally-aware and conscientious about their treatment of animals, as applicable.


More Adventurous
Of course ascending into the wide blue sky or rosy sunset in your own hot-air balloon is a triumphant way to make an exit.  If it’s your style, and in your budget, GO FOR IT!  The moment will leave your guests gaping with joy and you and your new spouse will enjoy panoramic views of the reception venue and the horizon into which you’re beginning your new life together.  It’s about the most auspicious means of transport there is!

Other adventurous couples may choose similarly amazing means of motion:  motorcycle, horseback, hang glider, helicopter, snowmobile, boat.  Such escapes definitely make a statement about who you are; more than that, they provide an added element of fun and intimacy for the two of you after a wonderful (yet stressful) period of weeks and months of planning this momentous occasion.  Finally, the two of you can relax and enjoy the freedom of riding off together on horseback, or sitting back as the pilot of your personal helicopter swoops you away to the airport for your honeymoon.  This is the time to hold hands, cuddle, whisper those special words to one another and take a deep breath.  You did it!  You’re married!

If traveling by horseback (or dogsled, for that matter!) remember to check with your venue staff about any restrictions regarding animals on the premises.  And, as noted before, it’s wise to practice climbing onto your horse or alternative vehicle beforehand – this will make you feel more at ease during that very special moment.


Hyping up Your Own Roadster
For many couples, the ride to the train station, airport or back home may just as easily take place in your own car.  Whether for budget reasons or personal preference, this transport option too presents unique opportunities.

Enlisting the help of a driver definitely is something to consider!  Your Best Person, best friend, or a hired driver may be just the right fit to provide you and your new husband or wife a much-deserved respite from all the activity.  Your Wedding Day will be a fantastic celebration!  …but chances are you’ll both be quite tired mentally, emotionally and physically.  And especially if the reception goes late, a dedicated driver will ensure that your travels are safe and relaxing.

The traditional tin cans and ‘Just Married’ sign really do have their appeal!  On today’s highways, the cans may not be the best choice, but it’s fun to let your guests or special friends know that you and your partner would like your car decorated.  The artist in your circle may be able to come up with something incredible… or you can leave a basket of window markers, streamers and such with your most outgoing bridesmaid or quirkiest nephew – they’ll see that the deed gets done.  Remember, your family and guests want to do things for you and make this celebration as joyful as possible; don’t think twice about asking for help with some of the happy details.


A Note about Today’s Economy
Not every wedding professional will accommodate, but it’s certainly more true than ever that many business owners today will be flexible with their rates.  Haggling over prices can get tiresome, but a courteous inquiry is worth the effort.  Keep in mind also that many wedding vendors will package their services with others – for instance, the hotel in which you’ve booked your reception may work closely with a particular limousine company and be able to help discount the publicized rate…  And if you are considering an event consultant to assist with your planning process, be sure to ask him/her/them about their own network of preferred vendors and cost-effective ways they are able to package services for you.


A Few Extra Ideas
Forethought on such a big day is a great thing!  Remember to pack snacks in your vehicle:  your nerves may have spiked during the ceremony and a few crackers may really make a difference as you make your way to the reception venue…  or, you may have only found time to nibble during your reception and need a few bites as you and your spouse are whisked off to the airport.  So think ahead about some culinary options and have someone pack them for you in your limo, carriage or other vehicle.

A box of tissues, perhaps?  It might be needed for those tears of joy!  After months of planning, you may find that once you actually relax, the emotions burst free!

A sweatshirt or comfy blanket?  You may find that if this is going to be a lengthy ride to your honeymoon venue, or to the airport, that an oversized sweater or change of socks or shoes might help you feel more comfortable.  Another fun idea is to have someone special in your circle knit a unique new quilt for this moment, and have it wrapped in your vehicle so that you and your new husband or wife can take a moment of fun to unwrap and ooh and ahh together at yet another priceless gift of the day.

Phone charger/s – don’t forget these need to be handy throughout the day!  Be sure to snap a few pics of the two of you together as you’re transported off into your next chapter together!

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In many instances, the send-off at the end of your celebration will be that lasting memorable moment to top off a wonderful party.  Your guests will savor the opportunity to playfully blow bubbles, watch as you make your way through the floral archway and cheer you & your spouse on to new horizons.  Take time, as you plan this exciting once-in-a-lifetime occasion, to consider just how many diverse methods there are to whisk yourselves from one place to another… and just how you might best incorporate fun, flair and polish into the particular option you choose.  That vintage convertible, party bus or horse-drawn carriage may very well become one of the highlights of Your Special Day!