Gay Wedding Blog

Heartfelt post by longtime RainbowWeddingNetwork supporter, and enthused LGBT advocate, Rev. Jan Carter!  Thanks Rev. Jan, for all you do in the Greater Seattle area on behalf of LGBT couples!

July, 2013

Much has been written lately about same-sex marriage as more and more states are making it legal and the Supreme Court has struck down part of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between one man and one woman).

I have been honored to officiate at several same-sex weddings since they became legal in Washington State in December 2012. A wedding is such a wonderful occasion, filled with hopes, dreams, and excitement. Same-sex weddings are particularly precious since they have been made possible by the recent passage of marriage equality for all couples in the State of Washington.

I find a special joy in officiating at same-sex weddings. It took only one such wedding for me to experience and understand the intense joy and appreciation that same-sex couples have when marrying.

These are couples who, for many years, never thought they would see the day they could be open about who they are and be able to declare and show their love for one another. These are couples who have had to face discrimination just because they love differently. These are couples who, as they dated and fell in love, never thought they would see the day that they could marry their beloved. It is a moving and humbling experience to be able to make those dreams become a reality.

Before same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington, same-sex couples could register as domestic partners. But this does not convey the same meaning – the same depth of feelings and commitment - that being able to call someone your husband or wife conveys. Marriage takes away the ambiguity of the relationship because everyone understands what calling someone your husband or wife means. Many same-sex couples have found that after getting married, people have treated them with more respect and that they find marriage provides a huge relief. Marriage has given them more security and has taken away a lot of previous worries.

"On your wedding day, your dreams are finally coming true.
We are here today to celebrate the great love
that you have for each other,
and to recognize and witness the ability for you
to finally be able to journey forward in your lives together
as marriage partners.
As your hearts and lives are already united together in love,
so shall you finally be legally united in marriage
from this day forward."

Same-sex couples can finally and fully experience the words from the Benediction of the Apaches, "Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you."

____________

By Rev. Jan Carter
SimpliDone Weddings
Serving the Greater Seattle/Tacoma Area (all of King and Pierce Counties)
Email:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Cell:  310.699.3048
Office:  206.915.1077
www.RevJanCarter.com
www.SimpliDone.com

June 26, 2013 - My parents' sixty-fourth wedding anniversary... and of course a big day as well for my partner Cindy and me.

I am someone who can say that I have been married three times, divorced once, legally considered single for 21 years except for those few days since 2008 when I was in California and now, after yesterday, considered married by the federal government and single by my home state.  Quite the complicated scenario!

Regardless of all that, the historic milestones that were achieved yesterday actually affected my partner Cindy and me, and on a personal level.  Usually, when another state offers marriage recognition, it is something we cheer for and of course we're grateful for in terms of our community and behalf of civil rights... but it affects us more on a professional level than on a personal one (given our work here at www.RainbowWeddingNetwork.com).

But yesterday's Supreme Court ruling is different.  Today, for the full 24 hours and through into tomorrow, Cindy and I are in many respects again considered married.  We will have certain federal rights & responsibilities, as of this moment... and our daughter has certain guaranteed protections.  Perhaps we will be able to adopt again, and with more complete inclusion of both Cindy and I as the parents  -equally-  in the eyes of of the law.

More than that, it touches our hearts.  To be recognized by our federal government means something.  It is indeed a time to celebrate, to be grateful for those who have worked so hard on behalf of our community, and to look ahead to even brighter tomorrows.

And it is an achievement indeed, not just on behalf of the LGBT community, but on behalf of all individuals.  The fact that our definition of love is evolving points to a higher degree of acceptance and respectfulness in our society.  It is no longer common practice, at least in our nation, for fathers to sell their daughters into marriage, or for parents to arrange their children's unions, or for it to be unlawful for biracial couples to wed, or for women to be considered the property of their spouses.  Yesterday's decisions point to the fact that, as a culture, we are transforming our idea of what relationships ideally can be.

June 26th, 2013 - A wonderful day to celebrate, on many levels, and for the joy of many hearts.

Speech by Republican Maureen Walsh (WA State) about LGBT marriage equality.  This speech is one-year old but it is absolutely INSPIRING, especially as we head into finding out the results of Prop 8 from the Supreme Court sometime this month. 

With succinctness and clarity, she (a heterosexual mother of three) nails some of the most important reasons why marriage matters, why our minority should not be made to feel like second-class citizens, why this is in fact a civil rights issue.

Enjoy!  It's worth the few minutes to click the link!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbmbdWK6338

I did not see any of the back-stories for the film, so I won't comment much...  But I do think it's a great & promising barometer with regard to LGBT Equality that a long line of highly reputed actors seemed to be eager to take roles in this recent HBO production.  Of course, there were the fabulous headliners, Michael Douglas & Matt Damon, but did you also note Dan Aykroyd, Rob Lowe, Paul Reiser, Scott Bakula??

The experience of LGBT Americans, past & present, is becoming a subject that is more openly talked about, more sincerely recognized.  One day, this will lead to greater acceptance and, as a minority that finds itself less oppressed, the 'LGBT lifestyle' will likely evolve at least a little bit.  Some may question that kind of transformation; in my opinion it is a part of the natural progression.

Three years ago, my partner & I released a book called "My Dangerous Commute: Witnessing Gay Marriage Rights Across America."  We are soon going to re-release it; I am very proud of many of the insightful tidbits throughout.  Something about this particular short chapter seems an appropriate reminder these days, so I wanted to share...

___________________

Chapter 22: "Layers of Shame"

My favorite camera cost about $20 through mail order. It’s made entirely of plastic. It has to be taped together to keep from falling apart in my hand. But it takes fantastic photographs. As my professor used to say, ‘A camera is just a sealed box that controls the flow of light.’ Any tool, through which we view the world, is like that. Whether it is the concept of current politics or the framework of our spiritual beliefs, or societal standards… the lenses through which we consider our surroundings are just that: lenses; filters. Whether we realize it or not.

Many within the LGBT community see the world in such a way. They’ve come to believe it’s not quite okay to hold hands in public, or that deep-down we are in fact sinners, or that we ought to remain somewhat invisible to spare the mainstream. To some degree, we’ve successfully internalized the prejudice. Note to those opposed to the gay lifestyle: Mission Accomplished.

Minorities do this to themselves, as do others who have felt less-than, or victimized or disempowered. It’s natural. And it can be silently unrecognized for lifetimes, like a thin haze in front of the eyes, virtually unseen. It can skew the way we interpret our own experience; our own reality. It can be passed down, through generations. And the result can be utterly detrimental, obviously, concerning the ability to envision a clear and justifiable reason for the desire for equality, fairness and non-discrimination. It can hinder an entire group’s collective ability to believe in itself.

Legalizing same-sex marriage presents the opportunity to heal at such a remarkable level, well below the surface. Individually and culturally. There are indeed broad implications.

Oscar Winner Jeremy Irons poses the question, with regard to gay marriage, "Could not a father marry his son?"

This kind of thought process continues to be a form of criminalizing the LGBT minority.  It really will be refreshing when the issue of LGBT equality is not overshadowed by comments of incest, pedophilia & bestiality. True equality will come to pass when such connotations do not cross anyone's mind.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/03/jeremy-irons-on-gay-marri_n_3009495.html

Article by Liz Goodwin / Yahoo's The Ticket

As the Supreme Court’s unpredictable swing vote, Justice Anthony Kennedy often finds himself the subject of scrutiny before big, controversial Supreme Court cases. But next week, when he hears arguments in two cases with the potential to transform the way gays and lesbians are treated in the country, Kennedy watchers have two landmark opinions written by the justice to mine for clues as to how he will rule.

Starting Tuesday, judges will hear oral arguments over whether California’s voter-approved ban on gay marriage, Proposition 8, violates the constitutional rights of gay people in the state; and over whether the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, which states that only marriages between people of the opposite sex are federally valid, is legal.

The former, called Perry v. Hollingsworth, could be especially significant as the justices, in theory, could either declare all state gay marriage bans unconstitutional—or say that gay couples have no constitutional claim to marriage at all.

Kennedy, a 76-year-old Sacramento native and Ronald Reagan appointee, most often votes with his four conservative colleagues. But the devout Catholic has broken with that pattern to side with the more liberal wing of the court in some key cases, such as when he affirmed Roe v. Wade’s holding that women have a right to abortions in 1992, and when he ruled in 2005 that states may not sentence criminals to death if they committed their crimes as juveniles.

READ MORE...

This story is so very heartfelt and touching!  It is wonderful that more and more parents (and medical professionals) are recognizing gender identity as a very real phenomenon.  Hopefully soon the language will evolve from calling it 'gender identification disorder' instead to something less like a disease or illness.  In my humble opinion, gender is a spectrum... and there is no wrong place to be on that spectrum.  -There is only the right place, for each individual and their own body and their own sense of self-expression, and of course their own happiness.

Read this touching article, watch the video... It's worth the few minutes!

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/colorado-transgender-girl-banned-grade-school-bathroom/story?id=18607443

Lately we've had a good deal of press coverage for our ongoing tour of LGBT Wedding Expos!  Deservedly so, many might say :)  We are similar to a Rock n Roll Tour as we make our way from city to city:  Las Vegas, Tacoma, NYC, Philadelphia, Chicago - Outrageous fun, gay flair and changing the world!

Thanks for all the support you've given us!  Enjoy the articles below-

http://www.epgn.com/view/full_story/21839902/article-Resources-abound-at-wedding-expo?instance=home_news

http://www.lvrj.com/living/-same-love-same-rights-enjoys-new-venue-191579401.html

It is SO EXCITING to see momentum like this (statement below) as we move ahead with EQUALITY for all LGBT Americans, and those who wish to become citizens of our country!  Again, our applause to President Obama for his vision and commitment to articulating the cause of LGBT equality as being a CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUE.  Period.  Exciting history is being made!

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January 29th, 2013:  National lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights organizations, including the National Center for Lesbian Rights, today released a joint statement reiterating the call for a comprehensive immigration policy that ensures fair and just treatment for all those currently impacted by our failed immigration policy. The statement includes the following:

"Any legislation must include the ability of couples in same-sex relationships to sponsor their spouse or permanent-partner in the same way opposite-sex couples have long been able to under current immigration law.

We stand shoulder-to-shoulder with those striving for and dreaming of a nation that embraces all who come here seeking a better life. We look forward to working with Congress, the White House and every community harmed by our broken immigration system to finally achieve the comprehensive reforms we all so desperately need."