I had my first shoot with a Triad a few weeks ago!! They reached out to me and when I tell you I screamed a little bit out of excitement! (Rami can confirm) I was so excited for the session, so I tried to find some tips for posing 3 people in a relationship. I found very little poses or even information on proper language! I was SHOCKED! I am not polyamorous myself (even though I am queer),but I wanted to make sure to be as respectful as possible, and make them feel as comfortable during the session. So I went to work! I found a few Pinterest posts hidden under all the hetero poses! And wrote down some ideas I had. But It was still very nerve wracking to find little to no information online. This lack of information directly excludes polyamorous people from the world of professional photography.The last thing I want as a photographer is to make anyone feel ashamed of who they are and who they love. So I'm here to change that! I worked together with a polycule near me, they're absolutely amazing btw! We scheduled a picnic session a few weeks out. And when the day finally came, I was so excited, but also super nervous to shoot this throuple. If you would like, you can give them a follow at:
Just a disclaimer: they explicitly gave me permission to use our shoot as examples for how to post a triad, and are excited to help educate others.
Tip #1: Stack people in the Frame.
Like in the picture to the right, have someone on top of the frame, someone in the middle and someone at the bottom. This staggering not only makes the picture look more interesting, but it also allows everyone in the throuple to fit in the frame more naturally. If I just lined them up, that would exclude the people on the sides, but more importantly it would be SOOO BORING. Look at just how much more interesting this picture is vs. that picture on your insta feed of 3 people standing outside a chilis smiling. Another element of this pose was how they lovingly looked at each other. I told them to look at each other how they normally would, but I made sure not to tell them who to look at. That way they just picked the person who was most comfortable and natural to look at. I also said to look at each other in a very loving way and boy did they! This picture still gives me chills and is definitely on my top 10 for favorite pictures ever taken!!
Tip #2: Have fun activities prepared that include all three of them.
So for this shoot I decided to have a picnic! Nothing fancy, I literally got this quilt and basket from goodwill. But they had grapes and strawberries that they could share and feed each other. Which was great not only to get more natural movements, but also the activities helped them get more comfortable being in front of the camera. They also brought a bottle of champagne, which is LOVE! It’s a great way to help get everyone more comfortable in front of the camera (when drinking responsibly), plus we got to hang out afterwards to finish off the champagne! And my goal with all clients is to become their friend, and I am happy to say I had 3 new friends after this shoot.
Tip #3: Make sure everyone is Comfortable!
This is especially important when you are not a part of the community. SO in my case, I am queer, but I am not polyamorous. I made sure to ask and use the terms they are comfortable with. I also made sure they took the lead with some of the posing and ALWAYS asked if they were comfortable with a pose or not. I find it extremely important to make the clients comfortable enough to tell me no when I am posing them! First of all consent (obviously) but also if they aren't comfortable no one is having fun and the pictures are not cute. For example, I had the idea of Kasey and Aaron kissing while Rachael kissed Aaron’s cheek. They were comfortable with that pose, but it would be better if all of them kissed. And it was! That picture is one of my favorites, and I am so happy that I asked about their comfortability and what they preferred, because in the end I got an amazing result. I found that letting them take the lead in some scenarios and capturing what they naturally do together can be the best thing!
Tip #4: Capture pictures with the individual couples as well all together.
Throuple’s relationships are sometimes not just about the relationship between the three of them, but also about their individual relationship as well. And I wanted to capture that! This is not the case with every polycule, but with Rachael, Aaron and Kasey it was! So I made a point to do a few poses to show that off. I made sure to do that pretty equally so that not one individual relationship got more attention than another. But I did focus a lot of the pictures between the three of them, since that was what the initial shoot is about. And I never wanted them to feel like I was trying to capture anything but their love for.
Tip #5: Use correct language and ask them what they prefer.
Communication is the most important aspect of any session, but when working with marginalized communities it is extremely important. That is why I always ask for pronouns and I never use a term without asking unless they have used that term. And the times that I do make mistakes or forget to ask, I always give the clients space to feel heard, and correct ALL my mistakes. No one is having fun if they feel unseen and heard. That is why proper language is so important. I also do the work, and research to make sure I am not using outdated or offensive terms. This is most important when I am not a part of the community.
Finding Inclusive Photographers
I am in the process of writing a whole blog post about this, but in the meantime here’s a few tips
- Make sure they include a place to put your pronouns when filling out a contact form.
- Make sure they have a large diversity in couples/polycules that they photography.
- They don’t have a separate section for “same-sex” couples. In fact I would trust anyone who says “same-sex” couples.
- When they do post queer couples they say more than Love is Love. Who else is over rainbow marketing? I know I am!
- The best is to find a photographer in the LGBTQIA+ community.
If you would like to reach out to me to be your photographer, I would absolutely LOVE that! I travel all over the world and I focus on making a very inclusive and comfortable environment of all my clients. You can check out my website at https://www.ranramiphotography.com/ for more information about me!