WHOSE WEDDING IS IT, ANYWAY?
DEALING WITH "PLANZILLAS"
Now that you've begun to plan your wedding, everyone wants to help. While that can be wonderful – putting together your celebration can involve a lot of time and detail, and it's great to be able to delegate some of those seemingly endless tasks – some people's idea of "helping" is for you to do your wedding...their way.
To prevent these "planzillas" from taking over, you may find that you need to set some pretty clear boundaries. If the person is not someone who's likely to insist that you incorporate their suggestion, you can probably deflect it with a tactful, "What an interesting idea! We'll certainly give it some thought. Thanks!"
But if the person is determined that you should have, say, all of your bridesmaids carrying pastel poodles instead of bouquets, especially if that person is helping you cover the costs of the wedding, it becomes a bit trickier. You may have to resort to an honest, "We really appreciate all of your help, but – I'm so sorry – I'm afraid we would just be incredibly uncomfortable with that."
Making an "apology" (even though you really have nothing to apologize for!) can smooth that conversation. And don't criticize their idea; keep the focus on the fact that you simply are not comfortable with it.
HINT: Do not say, "We'd love to do that, but, unfortunately, it isn't in our budget." Your helpful planzilla just may offer to pay for those pink poodles, and you'll find yourself scrambling for another way out.
You should have the wedding that suits you. If you can also please your families and guests, that's great – but you come first! It's your special day – have it your way.
© Rev. Leslie Bockian 2012. All rights reserved.
REV. LESLIE BOCKIAN
"Exquisite Celebrations to Touch Your Heart and Spirit"™
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