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Advice (3)

Looking Ahead to 2017

Friday, 30 December 2016
Written by Published in Advice

2017-logo2016 was a tumultuous year.  It brought us a divisive election, an unthinkable massacre in a Florida nightclub, an absurd bathroom bill in the state of North Carolina, an unfilled seat on the US Supreme Court, and much more.  There are hundreds of pieces of legislation in states all across America, whose sole purpose is to limit LGBT equality:  LGBT parents, spouses, families, employees, youth...  people.
It's true:  we're feeling unsettled.  Baffled.  Angry.
Yet it's important to remember that, as all years do, 2016 also brought us amazing gifts:  The opportunity to see a woman (one who believes openly in LGBT equality) have a real chance at the White House... the opportunity to hear our attorney general stand before us time and again with inspirational words of support for the LGBT minority... growing visibility for the trans- community in our nation...  the naming of Stonewall Inn, by President Obama, as the first national monument honoring LGBT history... the reality that speaker after speaker at the RNC attempted to mouth the words "LGBT" to begin showing that they, too, are beginning to frame an understanding of inclusion.
And it's also important to remember that the extreme divisiveness we witnessed this year inherently brings its own gifts, as long as we are willing to muscle through the effort of searching for them.  Clamoring to point out the differences between people is a sure way to also point out the similarities.  And those similarities can mark paths in the road ahead, toward a stronger and more inclusive sense of equality for everyone.
2017 will undoubtedly present rigorous challenges of its own.  Perhaps it will be our job to see through those challenges for the clarity and opportunities they'll bring to light.  Let's look for those, let's quest for them, let's explore them.  And with that clearer vision, claim what it is we want for our future.

-Marianne Puechl, co-founder & author / RainbowWeddingNetwork.com


How does the SCOTUS decision affect you & your partner?

Friday, 30 October 2015
Written by Published in Advice
The Supreme Court’s landmark gay marriage decision opened up a wealth of wedding opportunities for couples. Officiation company Our Big Day NYC noticed that with these opportunities arose questions from couples regarding how they’ll be affected by the ruling.
To answer some of the common questions, they spoke with a group of experts - including experienced officiants, a law professor that specializes in LGBT rights, as well as wedding planners - and put the resulting responses into the slideshow below:
For more information, contact Our Big Day NYC:



I thought I was pretty clear to my wedding photographer about what I wanted in my pictures. After all, I had been taking photos from a young age, including ten or so weddings of friends (I gave the prints as my gift)- so I knew what I was asking of my photographer was nothing extraordinary. I wanted a mix of black and white and color (and some sepia, which I love); lots, and I mean lots of editorial pictures; no misty, “Vaseline” images; a few formals… that was it.

What I got were several albums (ok, one check next to “lots”), a good mix of color, black and white and sepia (another check), but I also got many photos with that Vaseline look (yes, the one I specifically asked not to have).  I did get some formals, but only one shot of my groom and me together. One.  ( Yes, I am straight- but not narrowminded!)  Now, granted, this was pre-digital age, so the cost for film and proofs was higher ten years ago than today, but my photographer charged accordingly; and we hired him for the rehearsal dinner, too, so he had landed a pretty good gig

Unfortunately, what I remember most about the photography experience on my day was taking time to pose in awkward positions on the ground, on wet leaves and grass- no fun and no thanks. I also remember my photographer asking my Maid of Honor if she would care to pose nude for him “some other time”- double ick!  So I guess, really, I got even more than I paid for!

The upshot of this experience with my own photographer was my realization that I could do better! Waaay better. And, as a lover of weddings, particularly same-sex weddings (they are just so touching, and ok, I am a sappy romantic) and a pretty outgoing personality, I figured this job would be my perfect fit. So with some encouragement from my new husband, who gave me my first professional camera and a “go get ‘em”, I quit my high-powered, long-houred, low-reward job as a marketing executive and started spreading word about my career change. To this day, I could not be happier!

However, it is time for me to pay my good fortune forward and proffer some advice from what I learned on that very day, and some I have learned since- as a photographer and a bride.

When researching a photographer, find one who does great detail shots. You have paid a lot of money for your creative party ideas; make sure they are commemorated “on film”. Especially the flowers. Somehow it never dawned on me that I would not get to see my flowers after my wedding day- it’s not like an order you receive at your door that lasts all week…. The next day, they are gone- like the wind. All of those beautiful things…. Gone. Sigh.  Plus, your photographer's attention to detail is likely good indication that they will notice the little things that matter throughout the day- the tear in the eye of your dad, the fidgety flower girl, the secret gift swap, etc...

Talk to your photographer about album options and a no album option. Like prints, this is an area where photographers make money. Albums alone begin at about $500 and can stretch far beyond. That price does not include design, images, prints, or other service charges. I have been running a successful business without an album offering. If you do decide to purchase what they offer, make sure to see a sample album. Find out if the photographer does them him/herself and how long they take to deliver (remember to put this in your contract).

The most important piece of advice I have is to choose a photographer you LIKE. Once you have determined you like their style, and are ok with the price, if you are debating between two, go with the one you like most. This person will be following you around for hours (often in intimate apparel), and meeting your relatives. You don’t want to dread calling them for any reason, and liking them will make ironing out any kinks in the relationship much easier, should they arise. (And a photographer will be more likely go out of his/her way to make you happy if you are easier to deal with!).

When signing your contract, make sure it states the name of your photographer, the precise deliverables (such as a minimum number of prints/proofs, the style of shooting, the time photographer will be there, any albums you want, etc). But most importantly, include the deliverable dates! I have heard far too many sob stories about albums that have not been delivered over a year later. This is often because a photographer contracts out their work, and/or gets too busy. Albums are a great way for photographers to make money, but often not what they are best at doing.

Last contract item, I swear… ask your photographer to include the price of your prints (by size) and some indication that prices will not go up (or list the percentage they will) within a given time (such as a year). This will spare you the sticker shock that I experienced when I forgot to ask prior to the wedding! My friends and family could not afford the prints my photographer was selling (nor were they really good enough to want to pay his price, but it’s all we had). Selling prints is how photographers make their money. So be understanding if you choose this kind of photography package, but be forewarned, and do your research wisely! I created a different pricing model for my business: I don’t mark up my prints.

Once you have booked your photographer, make sure to give him/her a call about a month before your wedding day, though a good photographer will  have called you already, or set up a date with you to do so. Go over the details of the day: timing, shot lists, special attendees of whom you want pictures, any surprise events during the day, etc. When I called my photographer a month prior, he told me he only liked to have a conversation with his brides one week prior to their wedding date. His inflexibility (and disorganization) should have been a clue; even after I called a week prior, he still did not remember the list of things I did and didn’t want (per the above). And why should the onus be on me to call him?! Especially since I had already paid up front?!

Think about taking time prior to your wedding to take pictures of just you, or you and your bride/groom. You only get to wear that fabulous outfit/gown for a few hours, and it’s hard to take off. You might enjoy a few extra hours in it.. feel glamourous….

Make sure to tell your photographer how important (or not) your formals are… If you don’t like the pose, speak up! It’s your day! It’s your money! If you don’t want to risk grass stains on your dress, it’s ok. A good photographer can find an alternative pose. But keep in mind that you have hired this person for their creativity. So trust to some extent…..

I feel incredibly lucky to be included in anyone's wedding day …. And more so to have made and maintained friendships with many of “my” brides and grooms. …

Don't hesitate to call or write if you need any advice on planning your photography for your wedding!  And remember to breathe...!


Article written by Jody Holman Webster
Events, Portraits & Travel
Pacifica, CA


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